Free Writing, Uncategorized

Time Flies While my Writing Stalls….

Has it really been 7 months since I’ve last updated this thing? Wow…time flies.

I am still unemployed, but I’m making the best of it by being a full time student again. I’m finally finishing up my college education. Going for my double major in Accounting and Business Management.

I haven’t even touched Soul Weaver.

Well, that’s not completely true. I have. I honestly don’t know why, but I can’t seem to write that last chapter.

That’s it! Just ONE MORE CHAPTER and this thing will be FINISHED! But for the last 7 months I’ve dreaded touching it. I open up my scrivener just to stare at all 72 chapters. Every time I think “This is it, I’m going to finish it!” I draw a blank, get major writer’s block, and stall. Then I start doubting the entire book. “It all sucks! Why bother finishing it!?”

Then I just close down the program and push it away for another month.

The most I’ve really done on Soul Weaver is tweak the cover – yet again. Even that was done back in February after I was laid off. This version was to just lighten it and make it more easily readable. Especially in a thumbnail version (what you’d see on Amazon), the black lettering was very hard to see.

Comparison:

SoulWeaverBookCoverLightenedMedSize SoulWeaverBookCover426x567

Will I finish Soul Weaver this year? I’d like to. But I’ve been saying that for 7 months now. Who knows, maybe when NaNoWriMo comes back around it will finally motivate me again. Right now I’m kind being a little laissez faire. In the meantime, at least I’m being productive.

But you know what makes me feel even worse about it all? I haven’t read a single book since I started writing Soul Weaver. Seriously. A year and a half and I haven’t read a SINGLE BOOK. Originally I had the mind set that if I read another book, it would influence my writing, but now I’m almost wondering if that’s why I feel so dry when it comes to my own book.

Things to ponder…..

Kudos to you for reading all the way through my own musings. Thank you. ❤

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Free Writing

I’ve Been Slacking

I almost feel like I need another NaNoWriMo to get me to write again. I’ve written 2,000+ words over the past two weeks. The first week was pure writer’s block. This past week was pure….laziness I suppose.

Honestly, I’m trying to adjust to my new “schedule” per say. Hubby got a new job. His previous job was sitting at home with me, getting paid to recover from a work injury. Now he’s back to working again and I’ve been trying to get myself into a good schedule.

Oh, and I’ve been trying to lose weight.

So I get up in the morning after hubby leaves and before my daughter wakes up. I do about an hour of exercising (I tried to start out with the P90X but only got past day 4 before deciding my body wasn’t meant for it [I even started a P90X blog]. P90X was meant for those who are already in shape, not for someone who needs to lose 50 pounds and hasn’t done any real exercise since her stint in the Army over 10 years ago. So instead I’m doing some light yoga and taking my daughter out on frequent bike rides – we’ve gone 21 miles just this week!)

After exercising I shower and wake up my daughter and have the rest of our day to ourselves. I could write, but I usually just surf the internet. I could write, but I usually practice my guitar. I could write, but I usually just hang out with my daughter on the porch while she swings and plays with her baby doll. I could write, but by the time hubby gets home I usually haven’t. We spend some time watching Netflix and try to get to bed early because he has to be up early.

I’m not sure what my problem is. I think I’ve been getting down on myself. I’ve been debating taking some writing classes, thinking it will help me get some confidence, but I’m not sure that would really help.

I think I’ve just hit the halfway slump. I’m not really sure I’m at the halfway point in my novel, but with a goal of 100,000k words and only 60,500 written I’m close enough to call it the halfway mark. Heck, I still have to edit, re-edit, edit again, and keep editing until it’s a perfect as it can be. Then I still have to go through the beta reader phase, edit again and again. Then determine if I want to go with traditional publishing (my dream is to be published through TOR) or self publish.

Needless to say, I’ve still got quite a ways to go. I think the full weight of it all is hitting me hard. I’ll eventually get over it, I’m sure. I just feel bad for slacking since Camp NaNoWriMo has been over.

So consider this a rant blog. I’m done. I promise my next blog will be more upbeat and positive.

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